Why did the boy run down the road? Because he was being chased by a tsunami

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

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Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

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What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

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why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

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wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

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What do you get on anti-jokes.com? A bunch of repeated "jokes", that don't make any sense.

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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What did the racist say to the other racist? Hey how was yesterday's clan meeting?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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