A white man, a black man, and a woman are drinking in the local pub. The black man and the woman are hanged. Medieval European pubs did not permit either.

What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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duh its up top

knock knock who's there? The police your family is dead

Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because the mas of the ice-cream gathered up enough potential energy to increase the velocity of said ice cream making a mess on the ground.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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