A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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What do u call 2 black people in the front of a car 3 in the back and 2 on top of the car going off a clif? A waste u can fit 2 more in the trunk

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she was clumsy. Nevertheless the accident was minor and she did not injure the arms that she had.

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Q- Why? A- Why not?

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

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Why did the vagina smell so bad? Because it had yeast infection.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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Why didn't the black man finish his lunch? He wasn't hungry

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

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You can tell I have many friends because I got them to like this.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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