three retards, a Jew, 4 Mexicans, and an Eskimo go to the grocery store. Windex is on sale. The Jew bought artichokes.

every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Doctor Harold Boo, I was your grandmother's primary caregiver, I'm here to inform you that she died of a massive heart attack.

Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

What's the difference between a red door and a blue door? Fat black people.

What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

What ryhmes with turtle rape

There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

a disabled man takes a walk in a park

Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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