What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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