What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

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Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

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Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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