whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

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What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

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Why shouldn't gingers smoke before they are 3? Because they have souls and still abide by the same rules!........................................................................................................................................ If you laughed at that you either don't like gingers or should be shot. And by the way... Why did Snape kill Dumbledore? Because he had to.

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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How do you kill a black man There is many ways

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9

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

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sure!

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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what did timmy from southpark say after his warther melested him? TIMMY

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roses are red , thankyou for stating that , i can now continue with gardening as it is my profession.

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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