why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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kkkk

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knock knock go away

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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SUCK MY NUTS

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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