How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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