What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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Q: whats worse than being in the car for 1hour A: being in the car for 2 hours Made by: grant chapman:)

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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