What's red and a cow? Red cow

what is red white and blue? the french flag

21

A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

Why was the clown sad? Because he was found guilty of raping and murdering 33 young men, and sentenced to death for 12 of those murders by a jury of his piers.

How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

The 80's called. They need their couch back.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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