Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

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"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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Your dad got tired while running, so he stopped running.

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- Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Repeat falls off, who's left? - Pete? - F**k yes.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8-9-10.

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Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

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A man wearing a 'What Would Jesus Do' bracelet and a livestrong bracelet goes up to a blind kid and rubs his eyes and the kid can see. The kid was was not used to the bright lights and wandered into traffic, was hit by a car and killed instantly.

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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She likes her sex like she likes her penises. Without a woman.

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"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

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Why couldn't the man get a job at the daycare? Because he was a serial killer/rapist.

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What's worse than getting a bruise? AIDS.

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What did john say to bob Hey bob

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Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your a slut

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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