A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air. By Darragh Hamilton

What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven. Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" "No," the man replies, "I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

Why did the Jew cross the road? After looking both ways many times, repeatedly, to make sure there was absolutely no element of possible danger, he concluded that his best option was the cross the road.

Knock Knock. Shut up.

2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

what's worse than getting hit by a car? getting hit by a truck

What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

What's white and can't climb trees? A fridge

what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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