How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

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Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Hi i love black men so much and i am a jewish faggot bye

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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Here's a joke The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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