What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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hear hear

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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whats worse than taking a refrigerator to the face? the holocaust and AIDs

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

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How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

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What do you call a black Englishmen? Rodger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops