How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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jhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC HAMSTER

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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yo mamma so black, she was left out in subzero temperatures for an extended time period and suffered major frostbite all over her body, causing it to become grotesquely black.

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops