- Anti Joke

Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

what do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a spaceship? a dinosaur spaceship

"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

what did the ghost say to the bee boo-bee

What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

what do yo call two dog? dogs.

Looks like you are having a TUFF time recovering from the game.....lol.....

A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

Doctor: I'm gunna try to fit your illness into an everyday, normal conversation. Is that okay? Patient: okay. Doctor: how are you? Patient: fine... Doctor: that's weird.. Because you have AIDS

There are ten million million million million million million million million million million million sub-atomic particles in the universe that we can observe. Your mamma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd...

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

Meanwhile in Josh and Dannys apartment....(Danny: I'm finally gonna play amnesia! Josh: You'll die Danny: No I won't Josh: Fine tell me when your done Danny: Ok Josh: Cya 3 Hours later Danny has been stuck in a part. Of the game because he was scared to leave that spot. He builds up the courage to leave there. He sees the monster screams Josh hears runs in the room his character died in the game as Danny has a violent seizure and dies. Josh mourns the death of his friend for years.

There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

Why did the person get hit by a fridge? They didn't for its physically impossible for most people to throw a normal sized refrigerator.

What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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