there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

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What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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How do you stop a black man from bleeding? You give him a bandaid. What if he keeps crying? Tell him to stop. What if he cries more? Buy him an ostrich.

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How do you piss off a jew slash his tires

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? the Plan B pill

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what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops