This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Mexicans are inferior because! BEECUZ! Listen buddy, to be honest, I get girls every now and then because I am what they all want me to be, myself. You are a great friend as far as I am concerned, and I care a lot about you considering I saw you once like... 13 years ago, but I do not spend an entire night chatting with someone on horsehead network out of all things unless that person means a lot more than sex for me... Hell, if I did not feel that nice about you, I would not even have wanted to, and that sounds really awkward for a guy like me to say, believe me, you wont be losing a friend. AS LONG AS YOU KEEP GIVING IT TO ME! I am joking, but this is who I am (sadly) I have many female friends, and yeah well, some I well you know, I am just not the kind of guy that listens to girls sob stories, and pretend to be their gay best friend, while I watch someone bad ass come and bang her... Nah, I am more like that bad ass banger, except I dont break girls hearts afterwards. Seriously, I am really fond of you, to the point where I will say something guys mostly do not say: If you are feeling pressured into stuff, then dont do it, you wont be losing a friend, I wanna spend an intimate night with you (day, shower, on the breakfast table all that) but thats because I really like you, we have built some intimacy in pretty short time if you ask my opinion... See? Now I am being honest and leaving myself vulnerable, and I do that because I honestly care about you.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a black man was chasing his dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

thumb_up thumb_down +6

dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? His mother was a prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the woman shout at the bin? Because she is mentally ill

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +6

so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops