A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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roses are red turtles are random. cancer

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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yo momma so old that when she whent to school there was no history class

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Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Doctor Harold Boo, I was your grandmother's primary caregiver, I'm here to inform you that she died of a massive heart attack.

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I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

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why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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