An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

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Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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If i knew people where coming i would have trimed my antlers

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A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

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Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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