Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -2

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the homeless man lying on the floor? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black guy and a jew walk into a country club, within minutes, they are told to leave and never come back in order to avoid being contaminated by the radioactive waste left by a landfill company cutting corners in safety regulations

thumb_up thumb_down -2

They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops