What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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Knock, Knock! Go away!

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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Stephen Hawking

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Justin's life

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops