Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's brown and red but looks purple? Mixed paint!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Sarah lost both arms in a car accident Knock knock Who's there? Not sarah. Roses are red Violets are blue Wow. Clever Knock knock Who's there? Still not Sarah, as she is in a serious condition at her local hospital, and so is fighting for her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does fowlerville suck cause everyone wishes they were black

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats the sad part of 4 negroes driving off a cliff? the car couldve fit 5

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops