Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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How do you drown a blonde. I recommend that you do not drown a blonde because it is a felony. You could face 30-35 years in prison.

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WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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Your moma is so fat, that Jabba the Hutt says: "Damn!!!"

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Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

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What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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a man walks into a bar with a monkey i forgot the rest of the joke your moms a whore

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The duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man who was running the stand, hey I cancer CC

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Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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