How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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What Did Sally Get For Christmas? A Bicycle

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What did the boy's mother say to her daughter when she walked in on her father having sex with her grandmother? The grandfather said "how are you"? He wasn't a part of that fiasco. However I'm sure that whoever saw what was confused and looking for answers.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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Cancer.

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

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A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

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Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Refrigerator

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''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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If you give a hobo a stick he might poke u with it

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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