What do you call an asian women running for president? A candidate.

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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How do you stop a black kid from hanging around in your back yard? Hang him in the front yard.

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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Hi my names Sarah and I love baby's. I don't think I could eat a whole one though

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why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

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Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

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Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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TRICERATOPS!

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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