whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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