What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

thumb_up thumb_down -16

No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I have read and agree to the terms of midget sex service - View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down -16

knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A whore walks in to a bar. She soon finds her John and they leave to his hotel room.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Yo mama is so ugly that she never got married or involved with anyone in her lifetime because everyone was to scared and ashamed to be around her. you're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -16

its all shi.ts and giggles.... ......until someone giggles and s.hits

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops