Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

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Why did the young boy fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala.

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who looks like a double rainbow? gun baby who was pregant and rapes her

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

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Get it? More.

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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