Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

What is black and likely to fail? A chain smokers lungs.

why did the dad stop working on the roof he fell off

How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

What is worse than being bitten by a snake? Being bitten twice! - Louis

How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." The man of the house subsequently notifies his government that genetic engineering is going awry.

Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

united we sit, cause we're fat

Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...