What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

hahahahahah http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=sonny+bartlett&hl=en&sa=X&tbm=isch&tbnid=s37cS73V74A8YM:&imgrefurl=http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCASl7llFhDpTF8vwjDlGI_g/videos&docid=kJoLzGiYRM-2AM&itg=1&imgurl=https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-si7_hCcHI7E/AAAAAAAAAAI/AAAAAAAAAAA/HzlEl3ilyyM/s55-c-k/photo.jpg&w=55&h=55&ei=GrgsUZ_kJqac0AWExIC4BQ&zoom=1&biw=1024&bih=616&iact=rc&dur=188&sig=111947294788926856610&page=1&tbnh=55&tbnw=55&start=0&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:0,i:109&tx=27&ty=11

what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

Her Majesty's Government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain

knock knock whos there knock knock whos there knock knock whos there poor billy didnt know that the knocking was just a tree branch and he stayed asking the same question for 21 years

What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

Why did the man wipe his bum with a sweat-shirt? Because they were all out of toilet paper

Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

What do you call a man who kills others for his own amusement? A psychologist

Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

What did the ghost say when it stubbed its toe? Ow

Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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