What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse then finding 10 babies in 1 trashcan? Finding 1 baby in 10 trashcans.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

thumb_up thumb_down -20

?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack, due to her poor eating habits.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I'm rick james bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? That boy that dropped a perfectly good ice cream cone from a road accident involving a bus due to lack of road safety awareness Oh yeah, and I guess the fact that he probably died or was injured for life is pretty bad too

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating But there are several other very important differences Between human beings and animals that you should know about I'd appreciate your input Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory" So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files" Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you get when you cross an Indian and a duck? An Indian duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops