Q: What would George Washington do if he were alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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Nerve endings. Now, lets say we make that sensation of a finger down there vibrate, as your nose (not not your lower parts no no) become twenty times as sensitive, now you are just rubbing your nose right? Try not rubbing it completely off now...

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whats the difference between blue and green? there different colours.

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Justin beiber..

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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What did the horse say to the farmer who tried to feed him hay soup? I don't like that.

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What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

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Do you know what killed the cat? Feline AIDS

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

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a man walks into a bar and quickly notices a young lady having a drink. He sits beside her and asks 'why the long face?' 'My mother was raped by a horse.'

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops