Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

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how do you fit 100 jews in a mini ? two in the front, two in theback and 96 in the ash tray

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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SEX IS LIKE MATH ADD THE BED SUBTRACT THECLOTHES DIVIDE THE LEGS AND PRAY U DONT MULTIPLY!!!!

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Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

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How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

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Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

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Q:Why did the Mexican cross the border? A:To come to America to provide for his starving family.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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