What did the jerk say to the Mexican? You are a Mexican

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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The duck didn't cross the road.

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Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

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Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for two

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Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

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Once there was Girl whose Teeth were Crooked. She got Braces.

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Predators face looks like what? Pussy.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

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a

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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