What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

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If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? Who cares?

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1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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What's one thing that bothers EVERYONE? Mother Theresa

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Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

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... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

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Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

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What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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A dyslexic man into bar walks a.

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he wants to drink. He orders a beer.

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roses are blue, violets are unicorns, this poem doesnt make any sense. refrigerator

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops