Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

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What's long hard and black A drain pipe

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

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A: How do you piss off a female pilot? Q: Kill her family

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Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

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What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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An asian man and a black man were having a conversation. The asian man sneezed. The black man got SARS and he died shortly after.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs skiing? Skip.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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how much fish could a chicken

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Canadians

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Why didn't the guy have kids? He didn't want them

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your husband died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops