Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I've got some good news an some bad news. The good new is that you just won 10 million dollars! The bad news is I'm just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

thumb_up thumb_down +8

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

the economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops