An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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roses are red violets are blue What smells like poo? Your waffle's blue

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

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It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

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What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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m

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

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Gustavo Andrade

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "What can I get for you?" The dog replies "1 beer please." shocked at the dogs English the bartender sprints out of the bar in terror

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops