'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

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What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

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Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

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Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

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WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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roses are red, violets are blue, penis

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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******************************************************** Okay, so there were two muffins in the oven. One muffin said, "Oh my gosh! We're gonna die!" The other muffin said, "Whoa a talking muffin!" **********************************************************

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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