A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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What's the difference between a tiger and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops