Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

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Stephen Hawking

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What did the Japanese kid get for his birthday? Nothing, his gifts were washed away.

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Three mexicans walk into a bathroom they all had to go pee.

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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God has lived since the eternal eternity right? And one day he said let there be light? NO WONDER HE IS SUCH A NEEDY GREEDY EVIL FUCK! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL AFTER AEONS ENDLESS IN TOTAL DARKNESS? Moral: It is time for the prince, to stand up as the emperor, then no one shall doubt the power of the moral man.

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops