what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor. wheres my tractor

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Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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Pickles are moist.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Clouds are white.

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What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

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There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

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Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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Q. Whats the worst soccer team in the world. A. Ass-enal.

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What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion? Answer- Take me to your weeder!

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

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When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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