When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An American, Mexican, and Chinese men are each asked to throw something off a cliff that they have too much of. The Chinese threw off rice. The Mexican threw off tacos. And the Americans.. Well.. They threw off the Mexicans.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrHirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr can u find the r

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Leave. Now.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops