What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

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what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

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What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

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"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

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Why the FFUUU did you go back? Because I broke something huur.

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? I didn't do it right.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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