why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

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So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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G

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Hi, Steve!

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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