What is green and fuzzy and when it falls from a tree, your dead? A pool table.

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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Why did the girl throw the clock out of the window? The clock was broken, and it was the only valuable object in her possession.

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Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? Nothing, they were the ones convicted of raping that white girl.

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Roses are red Violets are too I am color blind How about you

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Kid hands Lebron a dollar, asks for change Lebron hands him back 4 quarters.

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The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

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25

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE?!?

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Holy sh** a talking muffin!!!

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*prepares this to get negative votes*

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

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Twinkle twinke little star How I wonder what you are? Star: (Noun) A fixed luminous point in the night sky that is a large, remote incandescent body like the sun.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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