What does a fish and a truck have in common? Nothing. One is a fish & one is a truck.

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

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What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

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Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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Damn Nero... So you are saying there is no hope left, the underground society is dead and buried.

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Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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Why should you never shower with a pokemon? Pokemon is a game for children. In doing so you would greatly disturb your child who is quite fond of pokemon

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Why are anti jokes not funny.... Because they make sense.

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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Thats malarious! When something is so funny that... malaria

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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