what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

knock,knock you suck

Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

Why did the buetiful woman marry the homeless man? True love

what class did Jimmy get an A in? None, he is dyslexic

What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

So a horse walks into a barn.

Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

Why did the chicken successfully cross the road? It didn't in the middle of the street it got hit by a car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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