What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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A.do i have alzheimer's? B.yes A.do i have alzheimer's?

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How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

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how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

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Q: Who visits the dyslexic boy on christmas A: Satan

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Say this to someone: On a scale from one to ten, what is your favorite color?

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A blonde, brunette, brown walk into a hair salon. They then proceed to each get they're own procedures done then leave not having any contact with each other.

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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whats ironic about a white van being white the driver usualy is not

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What's the difference between contemporary Christian music?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops