Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

2 + 2 = 4

Q: What do you say to someone who makes fun of you and is bigger than you? A: Nothing, you just punch him in the toe and run away

What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

What would you call the Flinstones if they were black? Niggas

Q: What are 4 consecutive fart's called? A: Fart's, unless someone gives them names?

How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

What did the old man say? Im old

What's stupid a light bulb.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...